I’ve kinda been obsessed with the banned alcopop Four Loko. It’s malt liqour mixed with the ingredients of an energy drink and comes out to be 12% ABV. It's really gross (really, really gross) and it really messes you up. I almost can't complain about the FDA strong-arming the manufacturer into ceasing production. It's dangerous… but fun.

The first time I tried the drink I live tweeted the experience and it was one of the most popular things I've done. So, I'm reprinting the trip here to make it easily accessible. For the most part I'm keeping the conversations (@'ing back and forth) out of it since most people wouldn't see them and they aren't that interesting.

It begins...

Ok, I grabbed a Four Loko to see what all the hype is about... this may be the grossest drink I've ever had. Unbelievably bad. Ugh.1:09 AM Nov 19th via Echofon

It still tastes unbelievably gross but I'm feeling pretty good and I haven't even had that much. Four Loko is kinda cool.1:25 AM Nov 19th via Echofon

Since so many are asking - it's Cranberry Lemonade.1:26 AM Nov 19th via Echofon

In response to a question comparing it to infamous bumwine MD 20/20...

@reply MD 20/20 had some delicious flavors - Banana Red is great. I'm drinking Cranberry Lemonade. It is awful.1:26 AM Nov 19th via Echofon

So use that to imagine the taste of it.

A friend of mine demanded that I drink and entire can for his entertainment - I responded.

@reply working on it.1:32 AM Nov 19th via Twitter for iPhone

By far not the most flattering photo of me, but I can’t imagine ever looking great while drinking Four Loko and shot by an iPhone.

Things were just starting…

I thought this was all hype... On paper it's 3 beers and 1.5 redbulls or so... Which I've definitely done together, but not like this...1:35 AM Nov 19th via Echofon

This takes drinking back to the high school days, it tastes disgusting and you're buzzed 1/2 can in. Oh my God. It's been a long time...1:38 AM Nov 19th via Echofon

I thought I'd get a Four Loko and brainstorm about a new short, but Jesus Christ that is not going to happen oh my god1:43 AM Nov 19th via Echofon

I thought about fixing my bike while drinking this shit. That would've gone really bad esp since our garage is all filled with science shit.1:48 AM Nov 19th via Echofon

…It really is. My roommate is a scientist.

I started playing around with iTunes, trying to find appropriate Four Loko listening music. It would become a theme of the night.

So I listen to a lot of mixtapes, but this is the most hilariously bad mixtape track I ever done heardhttp://bit.ly/bbNB3e1:52 AM Nov 19th via Echofon

And soon the power of the Loko would kick in...

I kinda feel sick.2:00 AM Nov 19th via Echofon

I honestly can't remember the last time I went from zero to oh god this fast #fourlokoFri Nov 19 2010 02:04:11 (PST) via Echofon

OH GOD THERE'S LIKE A THIRD LIEFTFri Nov 19 2010 02:13:42 (PST) via Echofon

I'm serious. You guys know me. You know how I do. I don't get fucked up this quickly, but I am. Holy fuck. This is insane.Fri Nov 19 2010 02:16:54 (PST) via Echofon

I mean like, I know I got a problem and I'll sip a little much, but this is crazy. I'm not even through a can and I ATE FOR ONCE!!!!Fri Nov 19 2010 02:18:06 (PST) via Echofon

The only artists that sound good while on Four Loko? Unsurprisingly @kanyewest, @charleshamilton and @lilbthebasedgod esp Based God! #basedFri Nov 19 2010 02:19:33 (PST) via Echofon

And here started another theme for the night… I don't know why. I'm really not that into T-Pain.

People hate on T. Pain, but I bet he's an alright guy. I bet that dude loves his mom.Fri Nov 19 2010 02:26:40 (PST) via Echofon

Harry Potter is for children #thereIsaiditFri Nov 19 2010 02:29:53 (PST) via Echofon

@reply OMg T. Pain is on so many amazing songs and does so well. Much love for T. Pain. Shout out to T. Pain.Fri Nov 19 2010 02:30:22 (PST) via Echofon

@reply No "All I do is win"? No "Got Money"? INSTANT CLASSIC! No "Good Life"? No OMG too many songs to mention.Fri Nov 19 2010 02:32:42 (PST) via Echofon

Talahasse Pain is his full name #tpainfactsFri Nov 19 2010 02:33:40 (PST) via Echofon

Graduation is an abstract album about the hood rich lifestyle catching up to you and ruining you while you're famous#kanyefactsFri Nov 19 2010 02:34:35 (PST) via Echofon

I could write an essay about this song: http://bit.ly/9s67aFIt's avant garde by a non-avant garde artist and deconstructionist hip hopFri Nov 19 2010 02:40:44 (PST) via Echofon

And then the real trouble started…

Hey @user I finished the whole thing and am ready to amuse you.Fri Nov 19 2010 02:50:37 (PST) via Twitter for iPhone

Again... Not my most glamorous moment.

MOTHER FUCKING TRUTH! I can't even believe how true it is!!! RT @user: @Nickrob just be careful. The four loko changes everythingFri Nov 19 2010 02:53:06 (PST) via Echofon

I FEEL LIKE FUCKING GARBAGEFri Nov 19 2010 02:54:56 (PST) via Echofon

Which is not a Trash Humpers reference. I just felt awful.

My stomach hurtsFri Nov 19 2010 02:55:31 (PST) via Echofon

Again having drank more than three beers and mixed alcohol with energy drinks MANY MANY times... I've never felt like this. Oh godFri Nov 19 2010 02:56:02 (PST) via Echofon

I want to vomit over everything I ownFri Nov 19 2010 02:57:38 (PST) via Echofon

This is, by far, the most fucked up I've ever been for $3 - I can see why the gov't wants to ban this shitFri Nov 19 2010 02:58:55 (PST) via Echofon

Almost fell asleep with my eyes open.Fri Nov 19 2010 03:02:58 (PST) via Echofon

For those of you wondering - it feels like my insides are being eaten away by acid.Fri Nov 19 2010 03:07:16 (PST) via Echofon

And then it got weird...

RIGHT. NOW.Fri Nov 19 2010 03:40:27 (PST) via Twitter for iPhone

Talking to cops sucks.Fri Nov 19 2010 03:51:30 (PST) via Twitter for iPhone

They said that I was not acadamy material and that I had to leave. I'm back home now. I'm so tired. It's pulling me to the ground.Fri Nov 19 2010 04:11:18 (PST) via Echofon

Four Loko is kinda unreal.Fri Nov 19 2010 04:15:23 (PST) via Echofon

And then I went to sleep. But it wasn't over…

Woke up with a racing pulse and sour stomach. Going back to bed, or at least trying.Fri Nov 19 2010 08:57:49 (PST) via Echofon

As for the aftermath…

Hmmmmm. What should I have for breakfast? Fri Nov 19 2010 12:27:36 (PST) via Twitter for iPhone

I didn't, of course, because I felt pretty awful for the rest of the day.

Four Loko did a number on me. It was kinda really awful, but it was also kinda really fun. I bought a number of them right before they were pulled from the shelves, which was an adventure in and of itself.

Four Loko is back on the shelves again, but this time without all the stuff that made it so much fun. Now it's just a 12% ABV malt liquor with artificial flavors. It's considerably less gross, but it still tastes awful. There's no real reason to drink it. I've seen people flaunting the new ones, acting like they're getting crazy - but there's an easy way to tell what kind of Four Loko you have: If it says that it has guarana, taurine, and caffeine - it's the original Four Loko and you will have a lot of fun. If it just says that it's alcohol and artificial flavors, it's just going to be really gross (but, as with all booze, you can have a lot of fun still).

Tags: four loko